Culture Shock

Well, I think it's getting to be that time:
that time that rolls around eventually for traveler who bothers to go somewhere foreign long enough to attempt to learn the language and integrate into the culture.



Culture Shock.
The roller coaster begins with the pleasant honeymoon, dips into the depression of misunderstanding and helplessness, then rises with understanding integration.



Then once you think you're through, reverse-culture shock rolls around. But for the moment, I don't have to worry about that.

Rotary gives great tips to exchange students about crying in the shower and telling yourself that Christmas is the turn-around (making it through Christmas will mean all the success in the world!) This is my second time around the culture shock block, so while I'm still suffering a bit, I must admit I'm a little amused and also glad to know where I'm headed.

At the risk of anyone French actually reading this blog and being offended, here comes a list of 5 things I find different, difficult, annoying, and just plain amusing about France:

1. Cute Noises - "Up!" "Plip!" "Dop!" Whether putting something down, picking something up, jumping down a stair, standing up, sitting down... every action must be accompanied by a little noise. At first it's cute. Then it's annoying. Then, I guess, it's just curious.

2. Gross Noises - Mainly I'm referring to the pooting noises they make with their mouths when they don't know something. "Je ne sais pas! Pooh!" If you've ever chatted with a French, you know what I'm talking about.

3. Accent - Do the French always talk like they have frogs in their throats? I'm thinking the stereotype about them smoking so much comes partly from their accents. It's like they all have smokers voices, even the non-smokers!

4. Facial Contortions - I'm seeing that a lot of my annoyances come from verbal exchange. But seriously, the French contort their faces in the most interesting ways. Particularly, I'm talking about a sort of frown that they do to elongate their lips. It's called the moue.

You could photoshop those lips onto even the most handsome of models and he'd still look like a rather annoyed, upset, unattractive being.
When guys ask me on a date I feel like I spend half the time staring at their faces wondering how anyone could ever find them to be attractive simply because of this look. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good looking Frenchmen, but they ruin their image as soon as they start to express their entire range of emotions with their bottom lip alone.

5. Sunday Fever - Everything everywhere is closed on Sundays.

Not to mention other days during lunch. In fact, the only time anything is ever open is when you are busy, because you're in class. If you had a job, you'd be working. I asked a Frenchman when he ever found time to go to the bank, given that it's only open when he's at work:
"Simple," he told me, "Saturdays."